Wade

People claim that Trump has Russian ties. That’s not true, just some crazy conspiracy theorists. All of Trump's ties are made in China.

What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital? Reload and keep shooting

There was this girl on the street that had no arms and no legs. She looked at me and said, “Hey sir, I’ve never been fucked before, will you fuck me?” So I threw her in the ocean and said, “Well, you’re fucked now.”

What has 50 legs but cant walk?

25 disabled kids

What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?

Sum Ting Wong.

I was driving and accidentally hit a crippled kid. They were still breathing, so I told them to walk it off.

School shooting : *Happens* Foreign Exchange Student: *Starts sobbing under desk* American Student: "First time?"

"Go big or go home", that's what some people say.

"Go loud and proud", that's what other people say.

"Go out with a big, loud bang!", that's what I say.

A priest, a rapist, a pedophile and a homosexual walk into a bar...

He orders a drink.

If I'm racist for voting Trump, then you're a pedophile for voting Biden.

What's the most played game in Africa? The Hunger Games.

My therapist told me, "Time to heal all wounds," so I shot him in the nuts.

Now we wait...

We shouldn't joke about rape, because rape is no laughing matter...

Unless you're being raped by a clown.

Jack and Jill

went up the hill

so Jack could lick Jill’s candy

but Jack had a shock

with a mouth full of cock

cause Jill’s real name was Randy

With a tight cheeked fanny

and shlong expandy

Jack’s face turned uncanny

Off he ranny

to tell granny

his best friend was a tranny

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: “That’s the ugliest baby that I’ve ever seen! Ugh!”

The woman goes to the rear of the bus and angrily sits down. She says to a man next to her “The driver just insulted me!”

The man says: “You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I’ll hold your monkey for you.”

Is Google male or female? Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion.

Why are orphan weddings so entertaining?

They get to walk themselves down the isle.

If a man says you’re ugly, he like you. If a woman says you’re ugly, she’s just jealous. If a child says you’re ugly, well, you’re ugly.

Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jill’s real name is Randy.

Why are there no good Indian actors? Because all the good ones are trying to get your bank details over the phone.